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Literature Text
Over come with emotion,
Like being drown in the ocean.
To feel a pain so deep, that you can not sleep.
The pain you endure daily,
Barely, Bearable...
Family say they love you,
Family say they care...
But that's all most say.
Words are great, but when you need help most,
you have to do it all your self,
not just the mental work, but the physical.
Over come with emotion,
Like being drown in the ocean.
Daily Pain is a stranger many rarely face,
to me hes a enemy
That I know best.
Its not just the mental pain
that rains,
Mines more psychical.
My brain and body are betraying me daily,
Barely, Bearable...
The monster in my brain shows no mercy,
Yet the shell of me does not show it.
I brush it off, and act normal,
try to be myself.
but I don't know who that is anymore...
The pain you endure daily,
Barely, Bearable...
Like being drown in the ocean.
To feel a pain so deep, that you can not sleep.
The pain you endure daily,
Barely, Bearable...
Family say they love you,
Family say they care...
But that's all most say.
Words are great, but when you need help most,
you have to do it all your self,
not just the mental work, but the physical.
Over come with emotion,
Like being drown in the ocean.
Daily Pain is a stranger many rarely face,
to me hes a enemy
That I know best.
Its not just the mental pain
that rains,
Mines more psychical.
My brain and body are betraying me daily,
Barely, Bearable...
The monster in my brain shows no mercy,
Yet the shell of me does not show it.
I brush it off, and act normal,
try to be myself.
but I don't know who that is anymore...
The pain you endure daily,
Barely, Bearable...
I have a brain invader, what my doctor is sure is a Pineocytoma which is a rare brain tumor, tho we will not know 100% tell it is removed. It could be just a very very highly Symptomatic Pineal cyst.
I am lucky I have a very loving husband who is there for me, and is very supportive.
But there are few family members... who don't seem to truly get my pain, and get my daily struggle. Also who don't understand that their hints that I should do this or that or be here or be there... really hurt me. I spread myself thin every single day. I beat my self up daily when I forget to call some one, forget a birthday (my memory is shit.)
I do want to note that I am NOT suicidal, tho this poem may sound like it. When I say " The pain you endure daily, barely bearable" I mean literally the pain. My pain on a scale of 1-10 is about a 15 most days. I am stubborn and will not take any drugs UNLESS the dr gives me a DAMN GOOD REASON.
I rather feel what my body is telling me then Hide and not know. Also when my Surgeon says "Don't poison yourself. There is no drug that can totally help this pain, without causing other problems." I am going to listen.
I am waiting for the surgery that will rid me of "claude" as i call my brain invader, but its costly...
If you want to know more, check out my go fund me page: www.gofundme.com/tumorsurgery4…
I am lucky I have a very loving husband who is there for me, and is very supportive.
But there are few family members... who don't seem to truly get my pain, and get my daily struggle. Also who don't understand that their hints that I should do this or that or be here or be there... really hurt me. I spread myself thin every single day. I beat my self up daily when I forget to call some one, forget a birthday (my memory is shit.)
I do want to note that I am NOT suicidal, tho this poem may sound like it. When I say " The pain you endure daily, barely bearable" I mean literally the pain. My pain on a scale of 1-10 is about a 15 most days. I am stubborn and will not take any drugs UNLESS the dr gives me a DAMN GOOD REASON.
I rather feel what my body is telling me then Hide and not know. Also when my Surgeon says "Don't poison yourself. There is no drug that can totally help this pain, without causing other problems." I am going to listen.
I am waiting for the surgery that will rid me of "claude" as i call my brain invader, but its costly...
If you want to know more, check out my go fund me page: www.gofundme.com/tumorsurgery4…
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